I know I went to Europe but it doesn't mean that I'm ok. I know that I wear a smile on my face and I go about my business as if things are normal but I don't feel normal at all! I get together with friends and family and wear a smile but believe me, I'm crying on the inside. Life for everyone else moves forward but for me it stands still. Those around me go home to their families but my family isn't the same family anymore. Half of us are missing! If you think that I'm paying attention to what you're saying to me.....think again! When Bill and Patrick died they took half of my brain!
What I need is for you to cry with me. Don't make me feel uncomfortable when I seem out of sorts. I think that I'll be out of sorts for quite some time. As Patrick's birthday approaches, I feel more and more as though I've been dealt an unfair blow that is hard to resolve. In time I will resolve it, don't worry. God is my strength and salvation. Without Him I would not even be able to write this.