The day I've dreaded

The final report from the NTSB was published today and I thought I'd be able to handle it. I've heard it all before after all. There's only one problem.........this report is final! I just have to tell myself that Bill would never take a chance. He just wasn't like that. He would never disregard his family or the family of his son. NEVER!!!!!
I hate going back to that day and wondering if they knew what was happening upon take off. Was there any time? Were they scared? Oh my goodness......did they feel any pain?
Lord, please wrap me in your blanket of mercy and comfort!

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. Psalm 59:16

My life is a roller coaster!

A roller coaster of emotion, I mean.

One day I feel as though I'm kinda back to normal and then I fall back into the deep pit of despair. One day I say to myself, "I will have happiness again" and then all I can think about is the broken dream. Some mornings I wake up feeling strong enough to make it through the day while other days I still have to ask the Lord to carry me to the end of it. There are times when I snicker to myself, "I get to watch whatever I want on TV tonight" or "I don't have to make dinner tonight!" But really I'd give anything to watch a movie again with my husband after making his favorite meal! I was sick recently and felt so lonely not having Bill there to take care of me. I've never been fond of roller coasters and I don't like this new life!