Friday, October 16, 2009

My sweet boy



Only a mother understands the deep, deep pain of losing her child. Patrick was supposed to enjoy all that life had to offer and he was well on his way! He was a darling baby...............


Then a charming young man


Then he met the girl of his dreams


And they got married happily ever after


They started a family

Patrick was a great Da Da!

And then came the icing on the cake!

Where can I put the pain of it all? It explodes all over the place and it can be so messy! The tears are never ending yet the memories so precious. Where can one go for comfort but to the Lord? I do not know.

10 comments:

10yearstogether said...

Debi, my heart aches for you. Every time I read one of your or Erynn's posts, my heart breaks. I hope you find comfort in those you love and who love you back like, and that your prayers find you some peace. You have a lot of people that you haven't even met praying and thinking of you, including myself. *Hugs* - Diane H. P.

The Estes Family said...

My MIL lost a son when he was 21 and I didn't think she would ever be ok again and even though I am sure she still aches for him she is ok again, not healed, nor will she ever be the same, but she is better. It takes time and faith but you will be ok again. She is out of town right now but when she gets back I am going to send her your blog. She is a precious Christian women who always seems to have the right words to say!!

The Estes Family said...

BTW- I love the pictures....from Erynn's stories of P he was a great guy!! You should be so proud of the son you raised!!!

Kara said...

Hi Debi,

I have been reading your blog for some time and you don't know me but I have become friends with Erynn over the years. I live up in Sacramento near Lindsey. My heart goes out to you and your family. I felt compelled to post because 2 years ago we buried my older brother who died suddenly. He was 27. As a sister, the pain was nearly unbarable but for my mom, I can't fathom what she carries daily. There were days she didn't get out of her pajamas and she would just lay in his room and cry. It broke my heart because my mom is such a sweet, loving person and no one deserves so much pain in their lifetime. It has been 2 years and though the pain is probably as raw as it was the day we lost him, she keeps going, for us, for my daughter, because it is what my brother would have wanted. Just as you are doing now for your family. I have more admiration for you (and my own mother) than I can ever express in words. The thought of losing my own baby would bring me to my knees but my family, like you, believes without a doubt they are in the safe arms of God and WE WILL see them again. The signs are always around, especially when we need it the most. I think of your family often and I wish you as much peace and comfort as you need. The strength of your family radiates in all of you.

Glenda said...

What a beautiful tribute to Patrick. I am a mother and can't imagine the pain of losing one of my kids. I wish you much peace and comfort. Be proud... from reading Erynn's blog Patrick was special and you raised him right! Enjoy the grandbabies and I only hope they bring you the peace and joy daily. Sending you hugs XX (even though we don't know each other) I found you through Erynn's blog and think of you often.

Debi said...

To all of you who comment......what sweet things that you say! Expressing your own sorrows and suffering makes me feel like I'm not the only one in the world coping with pain. Thank you is not enough!

Anonymous said...

I too am a mother that lost her son--not thru a tragic accident that remains unexplained but thru a lifetime of illness--from when he was diagnosed at the age of 5 months--he was never able to do the things that boys normally do in their childhood - teenage years - and on into adulthood. He never was able to have a job, a wife, a family or home of his own. I always questioned God 'what did I do that you let my son suffer so?' Thru it all my son was a kind, sweet person--never complaining about his limitations, never jealous of others that could do everything he could not; he was generous, giving and caring at all times even if he had to do without. While he and I both knew his time on earth was limited, when that time came, the pain was still unbearable. The heartbreaks suffered thruout his life, watching him trying to cope with his pain and limitations, was nothing compared to this at the end. No parent should see their own child die. No parent should ever have to be a part of that dying--I will never, until the end of my days, forget I was the one that had to make the decision to pull the plug. I live every single day with the uncertainty of did I do right? Just because the doctors said there was no hope...? The pain will never go away, the tears are always there ready to fall.

Juanly said...

In my life I have lost a beloved father, a husband, and a child. Although all three were painful, nothing...nothing...prepared me for the deep feeling of loss when I lost my child. The first year was unbearable...my heart was just ripped out of my body...at least that's what it felt like...it's a pain like no other in the world..only when someone has experienced it can they begin to understand. I am so sorry that you are one who now understands. All I can tell you is that things will get better...they really will, and the pain can get overlaid with the sweet memories of the love. Our time here on Earth will be over in the blink of an eye...and we will see our loved ones again. No matter how sad we are, it always helps me to think of how happy they are...surrounded by love. It is up to us to decide to live the rest of our brief time on Earth to the fullest...with the total faith that we can overcome our sorrow. Not that the sorrow will ever totally go away...but through faith..it can be overcome and life can become a blessing again. In reading your blog, I remember so clearly my own grief, and I just wish that I could relay to you the calm certainty that things really will get better..if you let them....it takes time..just remember that the love for our departed will always live in our hearts...but eventually we can choose to let go of the grief and God is always there to help us.

Bless you Debbie and many hugs!

Juanly said...

P.S. Debi, Sorry that I misspelled your name in my previous post. My brain went on a temporary vacation. :)

Jasmine said...

We can only turn to the One who is our only hope. All our needs can and will be met by Him . . . although it is so very hard to endure when He calls us to suffer!

Trust in Him - He is with you, just as He is with your husband and your son in Paradise (may we all deserve to be There one day!)

I'm always praying for you and your family.