Let's be honest!

I've decided that I've been sanitizing what I've been saying, trying to keep it light. The whole point was to be honest with my feelings as a way to get through this. So here goes........

IT SUCKS!!!! Every time I think of Bill or Patrick, I ache inside. 

The memories only remind me of what I have lost. 

I wonder when a smile or laughter will return when I think of them 

instead of tears?

Dancing Patrick

Proud of his fried turkey!

Thanksgiving prowess!

Who do they look like?

These pictures are so precious to me! I'm thinking that I see a little Reese in Patrick's baby pictures and some of Will in the toddler picture. Hmmmmmm?

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. Psalm 116:15

Boys will be boys!

Will prefers rocks and dirt to toys most of the time!

In my struggle to stay sane, doing anything with Will is a nice diversion.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles;they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Reese Paytin Rooney Enters The World!

What a blessing new life is! 

Thank you Lord for this little girl and the 

Mommy that delivered her in uncomplicated fashion! 

Take me out to the ballgame!

Enjoying Breakfast with Will

OC Hillbillies RVing 

Colin Looking BAD!

Colin on the left, orange jerseys look great!

Colin at 3rd

Colin started baseball this past weekend and we wanted to be there to cheer him on! We piled into an RV which was quite an experience. The cast of characters were Doug, Teresa, Erynn, Will, Sean, Jana and ME! Being back at Pepperdine watching baseball was hard without Bill being there by my side! He would've been so proud of Colin. Well, actually he might've been a little pissed that Colin didn't get to start until the Sunday game! ;-)

Trying to be thankful

It's another day of sadness; most days I can't believe that I'm going through this.......it seems so unreal. I can busy myself with the details at hand but sometimes the icky realization of it all takes over and makes me sick to my stomach. I woke up this morning with a Bible verse in my head saying "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest" I felt like the Lord was telling me to curl up in his arms and take a nap with Him and then I'll feel better. What I'd really like is to wake up from this nightmare!

I look forward to seeing Will for dinner, a bath and then bedtime to be reminded that I have things to still be thankful for!

Reluctantly, here is where I begin.

On January 11th 2009 my story begins with the tragic death of my husband Bill and oldest son Patrick in a plane crash in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Bill was the pilot with Patrick as his co pilot. No one else was on board. Bill leaves behind me and our two sons, Sean(22) and Colin(20). Patrick leaves behind his wife Erynn, son Will(1) and a baby girl on the way in March. My heart is broken and trying to mend; the sadness is overwhelming at times. With faith in Jesus as my savior, I know I will eventually heal. I'm comforted to know that Bill and Patrick are in heaven. There are many times that I wish I was there with them!

As a way to heal I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences with friends and family who are hurting and grieving too. Together we'll get through this however long it takes. I began journaling but decided that I needed more of a connection to people. I think this format might work.....after all, isn't it time to join the blogging world?