I need a hug!

Throughout our marriage when I asked Bill for a hug he knew that I was feeling sad or alone about something. I would ask and he would oblige with no hesitation, even if he was mad at me! Bill would say that we were a perfect fit. I fit just under his arm in a way that made him feel protective and in charge. Bill was very sweet and never felt uncomfortable about being affectionate. The kids would giggle when we would hug or kiss but I think it was a good example for them. I would give anything to feel his arms around me again!  

When you say you're praying for me...........

I think of this song and I can imagine that heaven is

hearing my name and how much I'm hurting! To know that God is

listening to your prayers helps me to hold on!

Thank you for lifting me and Erynn up in prayer along with our hurting families. It means so much!

Bill would've been at a Tea Party in a minute!

I laugh every time that I see or hear about the "Tea Parties"

and I'll tell you why.............

When Bill was frustrated with government and it's inefficiencies and it's encroachment on our individual choices and liberty he would tell me, "What we need is a revolt by the people like the Boston Tea Party. I could really get involved with that!" I would laugh and say, "sure Bill!"

Just like so many other things, Bill was before his time. He had great intuition and foresight! I'd love it if he could see what's going on. I can imagine how much fun Bill and I would have at a Tea Party. Our sign would say "THROW THE BUMS OUT!!!"

Is this my reality?

I have a love, hate relationship with the pictures and memories on my shelves!

Patrick's sweet face....I want to give him a hug again so bad!

Bill's trophy Caribou makes me want to smile and cry at the same time!

It's late.

The movie is over and the music is finished.

I'm not distracted anymore.

I look around but the memories and the missing are too much to bear!

How can this be me?

How can I endure this aching?

All I hear right now is the sound of an empty house.

Bill the story teller!

When I found this picture I had to laugh! The stories that Bill would tell were delightful and captivating! The kids remember them to this day. He told the story of how our lab named Champ saved the kids from a bear attack and got clawed and that was how he got his scar! In actuality, he got Parvo and needed surgery.

A favorite prayer with the kids at night was a funny one!

"Now I lay me down to sleep,

with my Ford Bronco in the street.

If I should die before I wake,

please dear Lord put on the brake!"

He was funny and silly! I can't imagine the stories he would've told the grandkids!

It's Patrick's turn!

Have I ever told you how sweet Patrick was? (I HATE to say...... was!) These pictures are evidence of what a sweet spirit he had. I hardly ever had to discipline Patrick because he was pretty compliant. When he was young he was easy.....then he grew up and got a mind of his own! His sweet spirit never left though, God gave him that! Patrick was kind to his brothers and kind to others. One of the last things that I remember that he did was to deliver breakfast burritos to the firemen in Yorba Linda who were fighting the terrible fires we experienced last year!

Bill was such a character!

I've been going through photos looking for good ones for the upcoming wedding and OMG, I came across this hilarious picture of Bill and boy do the memories start to flood in! We were going on vacation with our family friends and Bill decided that he would play a joke on them and act like a nerdy tourist that they would be embarrassed to be with. Yep.....he was right they AND all of us couldn't stop laughing! I've held on to those shorts all of this time Why? To laugh!